


daddyproof

by windsilk



Series: just don't close your heart [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, dads are truly insane creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 19:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16960302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsilk/pseuds/windsilk
Summary: Traumatized by an abundance of baby gates, Sasuke decides on an amenable and cost-effective solution to babyproofing.





	daddyproof

sasuke is mentally running through how to avoid eating ramen with naruto, his sandals clapping lightly against the laminate stairs of the hokage tower, when his phone tinkles. 

 _hi_ ❤︎  _know you’re tired but i just put sa-chan down for a nap and am about to pass out. can you pick up another gate on the way? she keeps getting in the kitchen cabinets_

all he wants to do is take a shower. it’s been four days since he’s touched anything remotely like soap, and even though the regulation clothing wicks sweat, wards off insects, and resists smelling like garbage–

“sasuke! are you a ninja or a grandpa? hurry the fuck up.” naruto’s voice echoes down the stairs. 

spitefully, sasuke slows down, opting to reply to her text with a lengthier  _Ok, I’ll pick up dinner too. Any preferences?_ before closing all of the open applications on his phone. 

he shoulders open the cracked door. “hi.” 

“how’d it go?” naruto shoves aside the piles of paper on his desk and leans forward. “tell me everything.” 

sasuke sighs. “it was fine. I’ll get you a report later. can I have my paycheck so can I go?” 

naruto scowls. “what is so important that you can’t spend time with your best friend–and, might I remind you, your  _hokage?_ ” 

(even six months into the position, naruto hasn’t stopped bringing the title up. as if everyone from there to rain couldn’t hear him scream it from the rooftops when he was inaugurated.)

he continues: “ _and_ I never get out of this office. I don’t even know what missions are like anymore. do people still commit crimes? do scrolls still get stolen? who knows?” 

“I have to pick up another baby gate for sakura. and dinner.” 

naruto squints. “don’t you guys have, like, a million gates?” 

“we have four.” he opens his mouth to formulate a subpar insult about naruto’s ability to count when it sets in. there’s four baby gates. there were two others, but sarada broke them with chakra she didn’t realize she was using. since then, they had to upgrade to stronger gates. 

sasuke frowns. each baby gate costs a few thousand yen. six gates is…

naruto tosses an envelope at him, having signed the check while sasuke descended into a horrified silence. “here’s your money. tell sakura-chan I say hi.”

sasuke walks out of the office in a daze. “not another baby gate,” he whispers, clutching the check is fingers, the heel of his hand pressing against the hilt of his katana. “no more.” 

–

sakura wakes in a dimming room to the smell of takeout and the clink of plates behind her field of vision. it takes a minute for her eyes to adjust to the dusk, and she sighs, shifting in place. 

a knit blanket had been tossed over her, and she pulls it up to her chin, eyes fluttering. 

“you’re back,” she calls out with a sleepy smile. 

“mhmm. I got dinner. you didn’t reply so I picked where.” 

her eyebrows pull together, and she feels around on the couch for the phone. she blinks at the notifications, scrolling through them to find the text. with quick fingers, she types:  _sorry! fell asleep._ 🙈 _forgive me?_

his phone tinkles behind her, and she can almost hear the eye roll as he unlocks it. he huffs. “just come eat. I fixed our baby gate problem, by the way.” 

“oh?” she sits up and continues to work through the messages on her phone. two texts from ino about inojin’s tornado-themed birthday party, a missed call from her mother, and several hospital emails. 

“yeah. didn’t buy a gate, though.” 

it’s only then that she finally looks up beyond the back of the couch to the kitchen doorway. the phone slides limply from her hands. 

“what…” her brain shuts down, voice squeaking upward in unconcealed horror. “oh my god. what have you…what have you  _done to my door?”_

sasuke pokes his head around the frame. “what?” 

she stands and walks around the couch to the kitchen entryway. “ _are you joking?_ this is a joke. this had better be a joke.” she sucks in a panicked breath. “ _half of the door is gone.”_

she traces over what’s left of the door, the upper half having since been sliced away. everything from the door handle downward remained. only sasuke’s upper half was visible on the other side.  

“I sanded it down so you won’t get any splinters. took the door off, sliced it with kusanagi, put it back on. it was a clean cut. straight line, too,” he adds, sounding proud of his handiwork. “and I had time to shower after.” 

sakura’s hands close around the edge of the half-door. “ _why didn’t you get a baby gate?”_

“do you know how much those gates cost? I used the saved money to buy some anpan.” 

“how is that…what’s wrong with you?!” she cries out in complete disbelief. 

“look, it–see,” he gestures behind her, and sarada toddles out of her play area, taking quick waddle-steps towards the door gate and presses her palms against it, gurgling happily as her papa reaches down to finger-comb her hair. “works perfectly already.” 

sakura presses a hand to her forehead, completely overcome. her lips twitch, a shocked laugh coming to the surface before she dissolves into giggles, eyes welling with tears. 

“eeheeheehee! papa!” sarada exclaims with a toothy grin.  

“oh, no,” sakura giggles, and bends down to hoist sarada up on her hip. she presses a kiss to sarada’s forehead, and then stares directly into her daughter’s dark eyes, noses brushing. “oh, no,” she breathes. “what’s papa done now?”

**Author's Note:**

> you guys GOTTA WATCH THIS   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJqqVM_Ou3g&feature=youtu.be


End file.
